You might feel sad, as though you are mourning the loss of a lot of things: your old life, the way your family used to do things, and the good times you won't have together now. It's a lot like grieving when someone close to you has died.

You might be missing the parent you don't see every day, and even missing the parent you do see every day, because he or she is working more, or is really distracted or irritable because of the stress he or she is under.

Sadness is natural, and it's OK to feel sad. But there are things you can do to help yourself feel better.

If the sadness is lasting a long time, or it is getting in the way of your ability to do the things you normally do, get help.

Q & A

Q:
I have so many questions about why this has happened and what is going to happen in the future. How much can I ask my parents?
A:

If there are things you need to know, ask.

You have a right to ask questions about what is going to happen and why. Although you need to respect your parents' right to privacy, they have a responsibility to answer your questions as best they can about things that directly affect you.

Q:
Will I be able to spend time with both parents?
A:

In the vast majority of cases, children get to spend time with both parents. How much time you spend with each parent, and exactly how that will work, will depend on your custody and parenting time (visitation) arrangements.

Remember: Parents divorce each other, not their children. Your parents are still your parents, and they still love you.

Q:
My parents never married. Do they have to go through the same process that married parents do when they split up?
A:

Parents who never married or chose to live together without getting married—don't have to get a divorce, because there is no marriage to end. But they do need to decide what will happen to their children and how they will divide their property.

Q:
What will my friends say when they find out about my parents splitting up?
A:

Lots of teens worry about breaking the news to their friends. Some feel embarrassed about what is happening.

Separation and divorce are very common these days. That means that many people have been through it themselves, and most probably know someone who has.

Good friends will be glad you've told them. They'll know that you're still you, even though your family is changing.

Q:
Can I do anything to get my parents back together?
A:

Most parents split up only after trying very hard to save their relationship. Their decision to separate or divorce is usually final.

Some teens hope and believe that if they try to be on their very best behavior, their parents will get back together. However, this plan isn't likely to work, since their parents' decision to split up had nothing to do with them.

Apart from suggesting that your parents see a marriage counselor, if they haven't already done so, the best thing that you can do is to begin to accept the situation so that you can get on with your life.